We just left the island of Robinson Crusoe, with its high peaks, here red there green, luscious then bare.
The island where some childhood character wore thorn clothes and had a friend he named after a day. People used to eat one another on some occasions here.
A cold front hit us while we were there and there is no secure anchorage around the island, if I had any doubts still about the importance of a secure anchorage, well they'd be gone forever today. We had 2 nights of top nightmare quality, the movements on board Mardek were worse than on a bad sail day, with no pattern in it and throwing us about. We maybe slept one poor hour. The next day when we saw our neighbors, they had the faces of people who had maybe slept one poor hour as well.
After that, we wonder. "Shall we go to Easter Island or should we skip it, we're going to get some bad weather in our face, we're so small, so vulnerable...'' " ?And there are no safe anchorages, everybody who's been there had trouble with their chain who brakes stuck under coral,'' '' but the statues, the mystery of this place, the remoteness of it, the attraction off this island is just so powerful'' and most of all, it would cut our passage in 2. We finally decide to go to the island after talking with a local who had gone. We take a very expensive shower in a crummy hotel and go get our papers at the armada.
Ahh, the ever present armada, just around the corner to change all our plans yet again. Our visa is expiring in just a few days, he can give us the authorization to go to Easter Island but we would get fined on arrival for staying in the country too long, if we make our exit from the country we can not enter Easter Island before first entering and exiting another one. We talk and talk, more and more militaries are filling the room. We finally decide to skip Easter Island all together, we'll go there another time... when the season's right.
From a 2 to 3 week passage we jump to a 4 to 5 week one, a lifetime... we are not properly stocked up on vegetables and there are none on the island, just onions and potatoes, which we buy. I feel num. I feel heavy. I feel extremely sad. On the dock to our dinghy I say ''adios'' to a very old man, he asks me if we go already. Si, nos vamos ahora, we go now, and all the heaviness of the world seems to lean on me.
The boat's a mess, as usual, I clean up, make new nets for the new veggies, put things in place. My mind is working on how I will survive. Survive the eternity of blue. I indulge in self pitying remarks, getting more and more ridiculous to the point where the lament becomes humor. Humor at last. I'm saved! Through my humor I hear old far-eastern teachers speaking mysterious sentences, sentences I have learnt to understand, I have come to agree with. Asia rushing to my rescue. And yes, freedom lies within, so does peace. I do a very external journey, yet, it is inside myself I look. Always within, it is inside I travel most.
I will just have to go on, face the cut off nights, the ever present horizon, gliding on the edge of 2 elements, none mine. Do all that and look inside, what will happen inside? Which fear will vanish, which one will arise? What will I understand and which questions will come to the surface?
One thing at a time. This is the very beginning of the longest crossing of this voyage, my sea legs are there, my mind is al right now we have pulled up our anchor, we're sailing. More than ever time will vanish, space will disappear, I will take advantage of these extraordinary circumstances, and probe within, where all the answers lie, I will tell you ones in a while what is going on, what I feel, see, hear, my hallucinations and my discoveries. I?d like to reach French Polynesia a better person.