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Hakan'ın Kamerasından
Pacific Ocean

It was a very calm and smooth morning, I had had a small breakfast of bread and tea.

The wind had forgotten about us and so I jumped in the wide blue water. I played a little, then washed my hair and played a little more holding on to the line I had pulled out.

I felt better again and was glad for it, the previous few days had been very heavy on me.

At some point a big and violent squall had lingered above us and I was taken by seasickness. After being 3 weeks at sea having a few waves making me feel horribly miserable was more than strange but there I was, extended on the cabin couch in a half coma, unable to move unable to think, unable to hear my heartbeat or follow a thought, in a half coma I turned from healthy to pale green and wondered if I was ever to be able to endure any bad weather again. The squall went away taking with it waves, wind and my miserable feeling but I felt extremely weak, all my muscles aching as if I had been running a marathon -what do I know about them?- anyway I felt exhausted. I slept the whole night crying and suffering at every noise, worrying about the many more miles to be sailed, falling deeper every minute in my ever enhancing headache.

The next morning I was a little better but I was still crying, and Hakan around me worrying about me made me feel even worse. I can't remember what the sea conditions were or the exact succession of things but at some point, one day later or two or even the same day we realized we were both extremely weak, and I mean extremely. One step felt like an exhausting mountain climb, the passage from the sitting position to the standing one brought myriads of stars in our vision and we had to hold on for life on the ever moving walls of Mardek. That I suffered of weakness is one thing but seeing Hakan follow me, close behind made me worry, we had both had plenty of sleep, plenty of food so that couldn't be it, what was it then? I scanned my desires and came with the usual. Land, fruit, vegetables and fresh fish. Our weakness must come from there then, Hakan got our vitamins out, and we gorged ourselves on proteins. Canned fish -we still have caught nothing... chickpeas and eggs, sesame seeds and cheese. The heat was intolerable and I slid in the water and had Mardek pull me behind her for a while.

The next day we both felt a lot better and were quite impressed by the power of what was it, proteins or vitamins? It surely had not been a lack of calories...

The wind had forgotten about us and so I jumped in the wide blue water. I played a little, then washed my hair and played a little more holding on to the line I had pulled out. I had more tea inside and the wind started to blow, I thought about closing the window above the bed and did so seconds before the first wave washed over deck. Is the wind picking up or is it a squall? In very little time the weather changed completely and we were in for a gale, immense waves were building up, some were smashing like thunder on Mardek, some made us lie down on our side, some were just simply getting on board and others just decided to go right in the cabin as well. We had nearly no sails up but were racing trough he chaos. If we would slow down a little waves would just jump in, if we would sail faster we could feel the danger like something solid. So we kept just in between the two extremes in a not much less horrible situation, being battered and pulled, pushed and banged all over the place, things started flying, like our new pressure cooker and some plates. Were the knives secured?

We were hungry and thirsty but could do nothing about that then, finally before it got us ill we grabbed crackers and water and wedged our bodies somewhere, as safe as possible. It lasted long, the whole night and the next day as well, the sky dark grey the waves passing over Mardek like she didn't exist. When I got out again there was a vile smell on deck, of wet wood, wet ropes, dirty cloth and some other yucky stuff I could not decipher, the smell of storm I suppose...

And so here we are today, the sea still very confused but the sky blue again, the wind not singing loudly in the air, there are still lots of sheep in the water but generally the water has turned to blue again, we can live ones more but the strangest of all of this is that I found those 48 hours much easier than the one and a half I spent in a half coma because I lacked, what was it? Protein or vitamins.


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