I look at my body and I see two legs with feet and toes, two arms with hands and fingers, a belly as well, I see no blood dripping under me. Good.
It is funny, every time I write to you it is when the wind has gone, well it isn't that funny actually, for we are not very far from our destination and we don't move one bit, and it isn't funny either because it is only when the wind has gone that it is truly comfortable to write. So then calm days have its advantages and its miseries, but it's not funny.
You know already that I like to go in the water and swim and play a little, the cool water changing the energy inside me, having gravity giving me a break.
I can't remember not being able to swim, it is like walking to me. Little I swam under water because I was so small and my head was so heavy, I still do, swimming under water is the most natural way. Why give yourself to water if it is to keep a piece of you outside. No such thing can be good, or you do something or you don't, but you can't keep one foot out. In all things of life it is like that, and by keeping one foot out, you're probably brewing trouble with it anyway.
So today I jumped in, I looked in the inscrutable blue. Light rays from the sun were converging in the depth and blocking the view of the deeper waters, scaring me a little. I tumbled about, Mardek wasn't moving fast at all so I had time to linger and play mermaid. I had no goggles on so my view was very much out of focus but suddenly I thought I saw something white, I came up for air and went down again to look if it was still there, and sure enough, there it was. White and unmoving. I didn't know what it was but felt a sudden urge to get out of there, the urge pointing out I should not make sudden moves, insisting on the importance of keeping panic at bay and just move smoothly back on Mardek. Which I did, I pulled myself back on with not so much as a splash and looked at where the white light had been. I saw nothing...
I kept looking at the water. Then I hear hhaaahh coming out of my mouth and see a big grey fish swimming towards Mardek. Hakan is next to me in a flash. 'What' he says. I point down with my fingers, not believing what I see. 'There, a shark, or is it a dolphin?' it is swimming slowly towards Mardek then turns right under it and moves on. Two wing-like fins on its side. 'It's a shark' Hakan says. And sure enough it is one. About two meters long, there, 15 seconds after I left the very spot. My blood stalls, I hold on to the rail, and stare at the now empty water.
It came for me, there is no doubt about that. But then he was not looking very nervous, not swimming like I saw them do on TV, fast and with angles, on the hunt, on the kill. This one was on a leisurely promenade I would say, but never the less, he came to check me out.
Had I been in would he have taken a leisurely bite as well? Was he watching me while I was cavorting about? I know the white thing that gave me the alarm was not the shark, because it was not moving and it didn't seem to be something material. But it got me out.
Ah my senses, always taking care of me. I shall go on taking care of them.
My brain is on an athletic track now, running in circles
'A shark a shark a shark' it is flashing to my consciousness.
'I know' I say ' but are you sure he would have bitten us?'
'A shark a shark a shark' is the answer I get.
'Yes a shark, but are they as bad as we think? Isn't it like some kind of collective fear or something? Or the fear of the unknown? Are they really going to eat us? Or Hakan? Or you?'
'A shark, it was a shark, did you see that, a shark.'
'But sharks don't really eat humans, except maybe for the big white one, but this was a grey shark, and seemed not disappointed in not having gotten me, he was relaxed, cool, having a look, a what's up kind of look. I have heard of swimming with sharks, feeding sharks bits of fish, I have met people who saw some as they were diving.'
'But you we not diving, you were swimming, you were on top.'
'Calm down will you, I know it's scary, but let's not overreact, we were always the ones saying one should not be afraid of sharks, say sharks don't like us, we would play tough because we thought we knew we were not in real danger and now there you are, you flip! You panic!'
'But it is easy to say those things when we're not actually living among them, but now, sweetheart, we are, and it is our only life...'
'Hmm, we should get proper information, let's ask the locals ones we get to an island.'
I manage to calm down a little, every time I look at the water I seem to see a shark fin or its tail though, and my heart begins to race, so I'm not that calm yet, but if I am to go on living on board like this, in shark infested territory, then I seriously must learn about them, I'm not going to atolls and reefs to stay out of the water now am I? We're reaching the most beautiful dive places in the world, I'll be damned if I stay on board. I'm going to get to know these sharks! Seriously, but first, I must go to bed, and collapse. Right now I am drained, wide eyed and numb brained.