Our mind into the void, we scratch the uneven surface of it and what we find is very different from what one would expect, even for Hakan and me.
We stare at one another and unpack our feelings, unwrap our longings and find out that in the space of just a few days the projection into our future has turned around completely.
Somehow I have always found a reason for sailing around the world, so much of a reason that I found the idea of quitting boat life after reaching Turkey unbearable. I found it very fulfilling to travel at this pace, I found great pleasure in discovering new places, new cultures, I felt this life like one out of a dream. Some days I felt I had found the true meaning of it all, and today all has vanished.
What exactly am I doing here? But more alarming, why? These questions rarely occurred to me. I had a drive. The drive of the south. During the whole way towards it I projected myself in the channels, with the glaciers between the waterfalls, in the heavy winds. In the forbidden zone. I was attracted to it. I was going there. My mind never ventured further than that very south. Because somewhere I wasn't very sure I was ever to be allowed to go on. You know, these stories of drama and death surrounding this area got to me somehow.
Now the highlight of the trip is behind me and here I am without a drive at the other side of the planet. These islands are supposed to be paradise but the sun breaks my skin, hurts my energy, kills my will. Yesterday I swore that I would never again go to the tropics ones this tour was over and by that oath I threw out like a piece of garbage the very dream I have been feeding on for over 6 months! I told Hakan and I looked at him throwing our beautiful projects over board without even an afterthought.
We rummage in our heads and create a new future, another dream shapes itself and excite us, hours pass and we're rolling on the fast track, our heads unprotected we swing away with new ideas, forming a new world. Our new world!
On this small island we have taken the decision to go from amphibians to definite land animals, from nomads to sedentary. Writing this I realize we're living out the natural evolution of life. Before meeting Hakan was I a uni-cell or was I a fish already? Seeing it from this eye I trust our decision even more. We have a little more than a year now to mute completely.
From the other side of the planet Earth I open the bets. In our new life, will we or will we not have a room with a view on the azure blue sea horizon?